Why am I so inactive...

Yes, I bet you've already noticed that recently I'm extremely inactive. And I feel guilty, that's why I wanted to give you a little explanation...

The truth is that I'm having an artistic crisis. And this time I'm joking, I'm really feeling I suck. Because, seriously! Haw can you call talented/artist someone who's able to draw something good occasionally, can't colour neither digital nor traditional, who's proportions suck, who's ruining every sketch when trying to make lineart or at leas colour it? Making lineart takes me ages, not to mention some full art! No matter how hard I try I can't find that damn style of mine and I can't use different style with every new art! I'm failing at drawing every idea that comes to my mind... Often, to draw something, I have to look at someone's work to get pose right! Just don't get me wrong, please, I'm not saying I'm coping other's art, but I need an example to draw anything, and usually I don't like it!

That's how it is with me recently. I don't care if you think I'm pathetic or that I'm trying to extort compliments or something, because I really feel this way. And I think I need a response about it from someone who's not my family (that always keep on saying I'm amazing in everything) or a teacher (who won't even try to understand that drawing is my passion, not fractions, quadratic equations or historical contexts in 'Dziady'!).

Also I'm very sorry to my commissioners and I hope it'll help you understand why your commissions take me so much time, because I won't give you crap (unfortunately perfectionism is part of my nature this deeply rooted into my character, that I can't ignore it)...